whatever

[whatever]

[schmergo]

To all the parents out there who bundle their babies up in the winter time with those little hats with the little ears that make them look like little teddy bears: You are doing the lord’s work. Seeing tiny ewoks toddle across the grocery store parking lot is just what we all need sometimes. My joy is immeasurable and my day is restored.

[whatever]

[ossifer-bones]

it's hilarious how if you do any amount of research into life or death melee combat the prevailing themes that emerge are that

• you're gonna get tired very quickly
• tired leads to injured, injured leads to tired, tired leads to—
• you're not gonna be as composed as you expect
• humans are more fragile than you think and also more durable than you think. both are true and neither stop them from dying of an infection later (DO NOT GET BITTEN)
• DO NOT GET STABBED (generally good life advice)
• DO GET A SPEAR
• knights are faster than you think

[rainboq]

Other favorites from history:

• Humans are very good at *pretending* to fight each other in hopes that the generals way in the back are buying it so nobody has to get stabbed.
• Most of the dying only happened after a side broke and tried to run, because then the rich assholes on horseback got to start running them down.

[death-note-for-cutie]

A few other things:

• Armour works. There's a reason people wore armour if they could afford it; you can't just stab through a metal plate or slash through mail like in the movies.
• Armour is also hot, and full helmets restrict vision and breathing significantly. Which makes the getting tired happen even quicker.
• To expand on knights being faster than you think: they can also move a lot better than you probably think. Generally speaking, anything you can do unarmoured you can also do in a full plate harness (or practically every other kind of armour) — jumping onto your horse, climbing, cartwheels/rolls (not that you should do these things).
• The spear thing can't be overstated. If you have a (notably) longer weapon than your opponent, you have a massive advantage in a fight. It doesn't have to be a spear even, most any polearm will do (they're basically all just spear + something anyway).
• If you're not using a polearm, and you're not an archer (and sometimes even if you are), get a shield! Shields are a massive game changer in a melee, but even more importantly if you don't have one and aren't wearing a full plate harness or equivalent, you're just asking for the archers to kill you. "But what about dual-wielding?" No. Get a shield. Dual-wielding is only practical in a duel or maybe self-defence, and even then a shield would be better, they're just harder to carry around.
• Rapiers are bigger than you think, and aren't a particularly light weapon. Smallswords are the little ones.
• As much as a person's size and physical strength are important in unarmed combat, they becomes far less significant when weapons are brought in (at least ones that aren't point-blank weapons like knives). To the extent that there aren't any don't need to be weight classes in armed tournaments like HEMA (at least not in any that I'm aware of). The biggest advantage size gives you is reach, not strength.
• As a caveat to the above, if things move into grappling range (or start more or less there, as can be the case in a knife fight) size does matter. Because you're wrestling with the added goal of stabbing the opponent.

[whatever]

[ampervadasz]

[unstablebill]

Please watch this s, he is So stupid

[whatever]

[lesbiansandgayssupporttheminers]

A comrade.

[whatever]

[kissyourneck-slitmythroat]

I showed this post to my boyfriend and he tried to take his shirt off like a girl and 

uh

yeah

[peetasboxers]

Out of the 82k notes my post got this is by far the best comment holy shit thank u for being u

[wingscannotspeak]

So i tried it both ways and uh

i mean how do you do the first one without pulling out all your hair?

[zorobro]

this made me laugh really hard….

and it made me realize that girls and boys pull their shirt off differently. /amazed

but seriously I think girls just do the cross arm thing because of HAIR like demonstrated 

[wingscanspeak]

So one year, one URL change, and a hair cut later, I decide to try again… FOR SCIENCE! 

Its not science unless you write it down so 

[30secondstocalifornia]

First method:

Well done, i guess…

Second:

I fucked up

Girls… how?

[plushestrumpest]

I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW WE CAN HAVE SUCH DIFFERENT WAYS OF TAKING OFF SHIRTS AND SO MUCH DIFFICULTY DOING IT THE OTHER WAY

[iprayforangels]

I FIGURED IT OUT!!!!!

It’s all in the way that girl/boys shirts are made.

Girls shirts have less armpit room then boy’s do and are generally shorter so pulling it off over your head is more practical because by lifting your arms all the way up you make enough room for the sleeves to just slip off.

Boys shirts have more room and are generally longer so it is easy to slip them off over your head.

but if you take a girls shirt off like a boys shirt you will get your arms caught because there isn’t much armpit space.

and if you take a boys shirt off like a girls shit you will still have your head in it when you’ve lifted your arms all the way up because of the shirt’s length.

It has nothing to do with us. It is entirely to do with how our shirts are made. I figured it out for you. YOU’RE WELCOME!

[super-highschool-level-homestuck]

bless you

[wingscanspeak]

look what is back on my dash. Jesus.

[panicatthegym]

This came back but with ACTUAL SCIENCE you are the saviour of our generation

[dontmindthesass]

I have no words

[ninjapanduh]

I seriously just needed this

[setbabiesonfire]

This deserves the 1 million+ notes it has.

[monitorchakas]

Literally tumblr broke from sll the science

[themangodojo]

OK, there’s a lot of people who’ve seen way more stuff on here than I have, but that is NOT a normal glitched gif…

[eat-the-door-to-the-v0id]

wait wHat i got it too

[gay-and-h8ing-enbyphobes-in-ohio]

Y’all I can do it both ways really easily, and actually do the “girl” way more even though I wear guys shirts so idk

[huantingbirb-for-revoulution]

WHAT WAS THE THIRD GIF? I GOT THE GLITCH? (TUMBLR LET ME SAVE THE GLITCH?)

TUMBLR WTF?

[hecalledmehanbana]

Sometimes I wonder about this website.

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[muntiller2]

Oh wow this one is old old, never seen it before

[whatever]

[thedivinemagnet]

Definitely a contender for funniest peanuts strip

[whatever]

[pigeoncatunderscore]

do you. do you even want a story

[artcherontia]

this persons dream show

[whatever]

[nativenews]

[ancientson]

He had committed no crime. He was not suspected of any crime. Police saw him, a Black kid wearing a ski mask, and decided to murder him for it WITH THE HELP of paramedics. He was a sweet kid who literally played his violin for kittens in a shelter in his free time and he died apologizing to his murderers for not being able to breathe.

During the 2020 George Floyd protests, the anger, the protesting, and the rioting was at least as much about him as it was about George Floyd in the Denver/Aurora area. Local violinists showed up to a protest to perform in memory of him and they were tear gassed for it.

One of the cops was recently acquitted and got to keep his job and walk away with $200,000 in back pay.

People who wear ski masks aren't the issue. Cops are. They will ALWAYS be the bigger threat.

[whatever]

[creepymutelilbugger]

just fucking with some dinosaurs. some raw forces of nature

[whatever]

[transxfiles]

cant talk rn obsessed over the design concept of this 2017 production of pinocchio as a stage play where pinocchio is the only character played by a human actor and the rest of the cast are portrayed as puppets ,,,

[transxfiles]

ALT

ALT

ALT

ALT

like. how insanely poetic is this . you are a boy and you are made of wood but you know so entirely that you are more than wood, you are as human as anyone made of flesh and bone and it's not your fault that you came into the world with sap running through your veins instead of blood. and your entire life you are searching the world for what it means to be human but the dramatic irony of it all is that none of them know how to be human either. you keep reaching out for humanity and they seem so big and powerful but they are just puppets of a greater design too performing for an audience you cannot see. and whether you know it or not you are more human than any of them even if they are convinced you are just wood and paint and magic. im on the floor .im losing my mind over here. gimme a second guys hold on. wait a minute guys wait a goddamn minute like. wahta a good fucking design concept. head in hands !